Chicken Dance
by Shinnite
Summary: He almost envied his advisor's complete lack of embarrassment as he tucked his hands into his armpits, flapping his folded arms like wings and just in general looking like a new escapee of the residential loony bin.' Yay for crack!ficlets written in the


One of the toughest jobs a Maou had to do, Yuuri decided, was greeting people. Not that he didn't _like_ meeting new people, certainly not, it was just that he would prefer doing it without the addition of strange, exotic-in-a-highly-embarrassing-way dances that Gunter insisted that he always performed. It was almost as bad as doing paperwork. _Almost_. At least with paperwork there was no chance of insulting the nobles of Bandarbia by hopping from the right foot to the left instead of the other way around.

It was in times like these especially, though, that Yuuri found himself wondering exactly how insane the people who lived here actually were. Or (as his current, favorite pet theory went) how exactly the past rulers of these countries managed to piss off their advisors enough that they invented these silly little customs in order to get back at their superiors. For the sake of tradition, of course.

"Now, Heika, bring up both hands to either side of your face, palms facing out towards your guests. You'll want to close your hands, bringing your four fingers down on your thumbs four times in quick succession, like so." Yuuri couldn't help but grimace mentally as Gunter demonstrated the beginning to the welcoming dance for Fowleria, a little country that was relatively unimportant if one discounted the fact that they were the world's largest exporter of bear bee paint (which was, in Yuuri's opinion, an excellent reason _not_ to establish good, neighborly relations). He almost envied his advisor's complete lack of embarrassment as he tucked his hands into his armpits, flapping his folded arms like wings and just in general looking like a new escapee of the residential loony bin.

It also didn't help that a _certain Sage_ absolutely _had_ to be there for this particular lesson, using some excuse about brushing up on international customs that Yuuri just _knew_ was a flippant excuse in order to watch the Maou make a fool of himself. _Especially_ when said 'friend' started singing under his breath so only Yuuri could hear. When this was all over, he privately swore, Shin Makoku would soon find itself short one Great Sage.

_"I don't wanna be a duck, _

_I don't wanna be a goose, _

_I just wanna be a chicken!"_

Notes: The temptation to have Yuuri dance the Hokey Pokey was great, but then I just suddenly had this image of him performing the chicken dance, and I couldn't resist. XD

The chicken dance, for those who don't know, is something I've always been plagued with at family reunions/group parties/whatever. It involves stand with a group of people in a circle while folk music plays in the background. You hold your hands at approximately eye level, making motions with your hands (like a duck quacking) while singing "I don't wanna be a duck"

Then you tuck your hands in your armpits and flap your arms (like Gunter) singing "I don't wanna be a goose"

Then, in what can only be described as a move you'd perform while dancing The Twist, you tuck your elbows at your sides, your fists held out in front of you at about waist level, while shaking your butt as you begin crouching low to the ground, singing "I just wanna be a chicken!" before suddenly leaping up and clapping your hands together four times.

_Then_ you repeat. After a couple of repetitions the background music changes, which is the cue for you to hook elbows with the person next to you (I forget if it's to the right or left, but I don't think it matters) and swing each other around in a circle. After a few circles you let go, hook your other elbows together, and then swing in a few circle in the opposite direction.

_Then_ you repeat the entire dance over again a few more times, increasing your tempo with each repetition. Snerk

And is it sad when the explanation of the dance is about as long as the ficlet itself? XD;;


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